Today I received the BEST valentine I could imagine. We received word from our agency today that we will be flying to Eastern Europe very soon. We will be holding our daughter in our arms on VALENTINE'S DAY. I cannot wait to meet this precious little girl face to face. God is so good and I am SOOOOOO blessed.

I LOVE this video. It's just goes to show you that EVERYONE has a purpose.

Sometimes life can be full of heartache and things don't make any sense. Today would be one of those days for me. One where I just do not understand the plan. I am clinging to this song for dear life at the moment..... 'Cause our God reigns here, our God reigns here. We claim this ground in Jesus name 'Cause our God reigns. Our God reigns here, our God reigns here. The battle's won, have no fear 'Cause God reigns here !!!!!!! I definately needed a reminder of that today. A reminder that God is fighting the battles that come my way for me. I am excited to watch him move.

Still waiting.....and waiting..... and WAITING. It would be so nice to know when we are going. It is so hard to get anything planned out when we have no idea what our timeframe is. I hope to know SOON!!!!!

The heart of this child just amazes me

My very good friend Michelle wrote this post the other day. She is so right. We should be doing MORE.....

What did your church do for orphan sunday?

I was disheartened to see that my church did nothing. I was also disheartened to see that out of 62 orphans that need to be sponsored in Africa (from an orphanage our church is supporting), not even half of them have been sponsored. At least 6 months have gone by since this was brought up to the congregation.

How can we be so selfish? How can we just walk by, or ignore the plight of the orphan all around us? This disturbs me to the core, and I often wonder how christians can justify this? Tbey can easily afford $5 a day at a coffee shop, but can't "commit" to helping an orphan. A child with nothing, no hope, no sense of unconditional love, often abused and mistreated. How can we as christains ignore this? The Bible speaks about caring for orphans at least 85 times. I see the church's being more concerned with their programs around fellowship, and sports, and small groups, and fun and entertainment, all the while ignoring the hurting all around them and all over the world. It's not right.

And I know this is not to blame the church, because I am the church, we, are all the church. It is up to us to reach out the hurting, the widows, the sick, the homeless, and the orphans. Unfortunately, with my church, I tried to present something along this line, to express my passion for the orphan, and how we as a church, all must take part in caring for them. My attempt was shut down, and not understood. Believe me, if it would have been accepted with enthusiasm and understanding, I would have been the first one up there today, presenting something about orphan sunday. It seems this particular church doesn't get it...and it's okay to ignore the mandate, and instead raise millions to build a church building, while also promoting entertainment and fun all the time. It's hard to take part in that, when I know what is happening around the world, having been there, and knowing it to be true. I have seen, felt, experienced, and touched the plight of the orphan, and I will never be the same. I cannot stand back and say nothing, do nothing, and even pretend to tolerate the church doing nothing. I will be praying...as I know that I cannot just be silent on this issue any longer. We, as the body of Christ need to pull together, in unity, to do what needs to be done to care for the orphan.

Haven't heard anything yet. I am hoping it won't be to much longer. The wait is killing me!!!!!

I talked to the social worker at our adoption agency. They recieved verification from the facilitator in country that our paperwork will be submitted early next week. We should have a travel date by the end of this month. We are looking at probably the first of December or end of January. I'm hoping for December, but we will see.

I do not even have the words to explain why this video touches me so much. It is an AMAZING video. If you haven't seen it before, then you really should watch it.

I recieved the paperwork today from our agency about preparing for travel. It makes it seem so much more real now that we are so close to our first trip. I can't wait to go!!!!!!

I just learned that our paperwork should be in country tomorrow. Then have to be translated (and everything else they have to do). I'm SOOOOO happy right now !!!!!!

My friend Michelle wrote this a few years ago. It is a powerful post, so I wanted to share it with you. I hope it moves you as much as it does me......

Could it be you?

There are between 143-210 million orphans in our world today. Can you comprehend that? I can't. 143+million little people that have no one to call family. There is no one that claims them, and no one that loves them. It's hard for me to swallow that there could be just ONE little person going through this, but 143 million? I think really wrapping my brain around this and truly understanding this would be way too painful. That's why I chose to state that I do not comprehend this. I remember the first time I stepped foot in an orphanage in Eastern Europe. It was exactly what I had imagined it would be like. I stepped out of the old van that brought us there. In front of me was a wrought iron gate. As I stepped through the gate, off in the distance, past the yard was a tall run down building, a structure with nice architectural aspects, but the walls were crumbling, and it looked dull, dark, and hollow. I felt I was right where I was supposed to be. I was in a place I had only dreamed of going but never thought would come true...the fields of the fatherless. In my heart of hearts I knew the Lord had brought me to this place, and for the first time...I had a glimpse outside of my cushy life in the good 'ol USA. Caring for orphans was something the Lord had placed on my heart at a young age...and I have to say having an opportunity to carry out something God had given me the desire to do...was an amazing moment. We were invited inside. We would have a tour, and then be fed lunch. All around us were children, orphans, with wide, curious eyes. We smiled at them, played ball, and tried to show them we cared. At one point I looked down...and a very young little girl, no more than 3 had taken my hand in hers. I hadn't seen any other children this young there before this. She smiled a very cautious little grin, and was glued to my side for the remainder of our time there. Heartbreaking. She was searching for a mommy, and to know that she felt safe enough to hold my hand, a total stranger to her, is both sad, and sweet. We were served borscht and bread for lunch. I felt almost guilty eating this food, yet I knew it gave them so much joy to feed us. We ate, and visited for as long as we could. When we left, the children all clung to the fence and watched us drive off...the sadness in their faces I will never forget. I spent time in two more orphanages there. It was humbling, and eye opening to say the least. The pain, aloneness, and the vastness of the plight of the orphan became very real to me. To know that these children, and hundreds of thousands more in their own country would never know the safe arms of a mommy or daddy was heartwrenching. And I will never forget them. As Christians we are called many times over to care for orphans. As Christians we are called to step out and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I would be a missionary all over the world if I could, I would adopt hundreds of orphans from all over the world if I were allowed. But I am only one. Will you join me in this cause, the cause of the orphan? They need us.

Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
~Sir Francis Drake~

Down syndrome's rewards touted as new test looms

With all the negatives you hear about having a child born with Down syndrome. It is nice to see some positive articles also. You should read this , this and this . Articles about parents who feel blessed by their children who were born with an extra chromosome. They are wonderful articles.

I love the song in the video above because it is a great reminder for me. It can be so hard for us to look outside of the little world that surrounds us on a daily basis. Our world of family, friends, work, church, etc. because these are the areas that demand our constant attention, but the rewards when we look around and see the needs of others can be amazing. I received the greatest gift when I decided to follow God's leading, look outside of my little world and found my daughter waiting. She is precious and amazing. She is beautiful and sweet. SHE IS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE (along with my other amazing kids). I am so grateful for the opportunity to parent this beautiful child. She is such a blessing. A blessing that I would have missed if I had kept my eyes focused on my little world.

What can you do today to look outside of your "own little world"? There are needs all around us.

You should read through this blog. The reality of life for the little girl they are adopting (and others in her orphanage) is so sad. Here is a link to one of her posts that speaks so much truth. You should read the rest of them also though.

The Blessing By John Waller

This is such a great song. I think it is a song worth listening to, while really contemplating the words of it. This is what I desire for my life. That when I am gone it will be said that I was a blessing and lived my life to glorify God. My desire is that when I die and stand in front of my Lord that he will say.... well done, good and faithful servant. My prayer is that he will break my heart for the things that break his and I won't hesitate to act.

I'm in awe

Wow, my God is SOOOO good. Noone can ever say that things are dull in the world of adoption. I received a call from our adoption agency this morning saying that the beautiful little girl we were trying to adopt had her adoption fall through, meaning she is available for adoption again. I am absolutely shocked. I thought she was already home with her family, so this has came out of nowhere. I am beyond excited that she will still be able to become our daughter, but am so sad that this means she is still waiting in the orphanage. Please pray that we can get our paperwork completed and over to her country within the next 3 weeks. There are things that could potentially be roadblocks in our way. Please pray that they can be worked out and will not delay us. Thanks in advance for your prayers.

This is a GREAT post

My thoughts

When people learn that we are trying to adopt a child with Down Syndrome they always ask.... Why? Why would we want to adopt a child with DS? Why would we want to intentionally adopt a child who will be "so much work" . Someone who may need to be cared for the rest of her life? I have done a lot of soul searching over the last few years and my thought is...... WHY NOT? These children do not deserve to end up in an institution. They do not deserve to miss out on being loved just because they were born with an extra chromosome". None of this is a surprise to God. Read Psalms 139. We are all made JUST the way he meant us to be. When we began our daughters adoption years ago, I was adamant that I did not want to adopt a child with her medical "condition". In fact I told God on more than one occasion that I would not. I must have given Him a good laugh since He knew what was coming. The moment I saw her face EVERYTHING changed. She was mine (ours) no matter what that entailed (and thankfully her medical care has been nothing close to what I had envisioned it to be). I love her with ALL my heart. She is more then I could have ever dreamed of and I cannot imagine my life without her in it. When we began the foster care part of this adoption I had believed that I did not want to adopt a child who had any condition that could be a "lifelong commitment", but I was WRONG!!!!! The MOMENT I saw her face EVERYTHING changed.....again. I fell so deeply in love with her the moment I first saw her face. As we recently learned she was not meant to be our daughter, but God used her to soften my heart in an area where it had been hardened. To open my eyes to children that I may not have considered before. He has used this experience to remind me that He sees value in every life. Even if most of the world does not. To remind me that we ALL deserve to have a family and to be loved, no matter what. He also used the experience to educate me. I read......in fact I read A LOT. I try to learn about things that go on around the world. The plight of these children has really gotten deep into my heart and their value and God's love for them reaffirmed to me. Will we end up adopting a child with Down Syndrome? I don't know. We will just have to wait and see where He leads. Only time will tell what will happen.

As I sit and contemplate the path of our adoption I have spent many hours in prayer and reading my Bible. Something I don't do nearly enough of on a normal basis. I have been reading through Matthew. I figured since that is where we are working through the Beatitudes in church it is a good place to start. It has really got my mind running. Bare with me while I process through it with you on this blog. There are many verses that have been speaking to me and I am giving my opinions on them. If you don't want to hear it then you are free to leave. If you are interested then this is my view on what I have been reading. I'd love your feedback. Whether you agree or disagree with me. Just be nice.

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.
Matthew 16:23-25
What does it mean to " deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me"? It means to die to self. To give up the plans you had for your life and the things that you have always seen as important if he asks you to, to do the will of God. It means fulfilling God's call even if it is not the way you would choose to do things. Going where you are needed even if it is not where you would choose to go. Helping those who are lost and hurting even when you don't want to. Even when you look at what it will cost for you to do it, what you will have to give up in your life to do so. Your time, your money, your freedom. God does not usually ask us to do those things that are in our comfort zones. He asks us to stretch our faith and go outside where we are comfortable. He asks us to trust Him even when it is hard and we don't feel that we are able to do what He asks.

See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
Matthew 18:10-14
Who are the lost sheep? The lost sheep are those that do not know God. Those who are alone and hurting. These are some of His lost sheep, the least of these. The most innocent among us. Those who because of medical issues face life alone. What a horrible thing to go through life without anyone who really cares whether you live or die. To not have anyone in this world to show you the light of Jesus. To be completely and utterly alone. They need people who will step up and make them sons and daughters. Who will love them whole-heartedly all the days of their lives. To be there for them no matter what.

Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
Matthew 19:13-15
Children are special in the sight of God. They have an innocent, blind faith. They do not need proof to believe in Him. They just trust that He is real. How wonderful is that to be able to just trust. To be able to walk along the path with Him and know that when He calls, He equips you to complete the task. What He asks of you will always be in your best interest, even if it is not easy. Even in difficulty there is growth. Sometimes He asks you to do things that you are clearly not qualified to do, so that He can be shown in the midst of it.

When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment. Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Matthew 17:14-21
I have faith that God has a purpose and a plan for my life. I have faith that He has another child picked out for us to raise to know him. I have faith that no matter who that child is or the struggles and challenges in life that child has He will give us the strength to parent her. That no matter what medical issue she was born with He did not make a mistake when He created her and she is perfect in His eyes and she is perfect for our family.

Lord I have faith in your plan for me. I trust you with my life, with my future, with my family. I command the mountain standing in the way of our adoption to move. I pray for your strength and for your direction. I thank you for guiding my life. For caring about me. For dying on the cross to forgive me of my sins even though I do not deserve it. I thank you for all that you do for me every day of my life. I Love You Lord. With all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind. I am grateful for your love.
Amen

I'll just leave you with this verse......

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink. When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
Matthew 25:31-46
Who can you find to help today?

Monday we have the last meeting with the social worker, then our homestudy will be done. I'm SOOOOOO excited to have it done.

The other day I was talking to a new friend, who is over in Eastern Europe adopting her son, about the unpredictability of adoption and how all the years of being in our adoption processes has taught me to just go with the flow. Well today has really tested my ability to do that. Today has been a VERY big struggle for me, but to be honest I have began to feel some peace about this situation. I will always have a love for this child, but I am at peace knowing that she has gone home to a family. I believe that God has a child out there waiting for us and I know that in His time He will reveal her to us. I am back to learning patience again, as we continue to wait. I REALLY truly HATE this lesson!!!!!

We have lost her

After 7 months of working to get permission to adopt her and working through the homestudy process. With only 1 more meeting to go with the social worker to have it completed. We found out today that the child we so strongly believed was our daughter is truly not. She has been adopted by another family. We are in shock and heartbroken, but grateful that she is no longer available because she has a family. For some reason God has had us walk through this homestudy process again. We will complete it and continue to pray for guidance, search for his will and our child. She will ALWAYS have a part of my heart. My heart is shattered knowing that she will not become our daughter, but I am also thankful that she has been given the chance to grow up in a loving home. Your prayers for guidance would be so appreciated. As hard as this is we know that there is a purpose in it and we will continue to try and figure out where we are supposed to go from here.

Took a trip for the first of our meetings with the social worker. Couple more and our homestudy is complete.

Oh, How I love this video!!!!!

Have you believed the lie somewhere along the line?

One more paper and we have everything we need to finish our homestudy. Then a few meetings with the social worker and we are all done. Hooray!!!!! I will be thrilled when it's over.

LOVE THIS!!!!!!!

I talked to the agency yesterday and they heard back from the officials in her region. They said that we can move forward with her adoption. Now to fill out all the applications and get our homestudy started. SOOOOO excited!!!!!!

Beyond adorable !!!!!!